Loving You

For years I have lived a fantasy

    of loving you,

        totally and completely.

A need to fill my empty space with softness.

A dream to ease the pain that comes

    from living

        without feeling –

        without this fantasy.

I embrace conflicting ways:

one is sharing a night together –

    to create memories –

    to nurture and sustain –

    and to bring you to me

when I am alone –

for as long as I am capable of feeling.

The other is to give transcendence to desire

    and live a myth that makes it all so proper,

    even though both are but reflections

    of my own vain imaginings.

But in reality, if you should ever ask me

to love you,

    and passion was established

    as the boundary of desire,

    I would experience

    the completeness of contentment

and be fulfilled.

Or if you should ask that I be by your side –

    and nothing more –

I would welcome the opportunity

to sit at your feet,

become your servant,

inhale the fragrance of your being,

    and ask for nothing more –

and love you none the less.