Just Add Water...

I was a Hebrew School dropout –

I never made the grade.

But never having talked with God

Left me feeling just a bit dismayed.

Never doubting for a moment that

I was part of the chosen tribe,

I decided to go seeking truth, and

Find teaching to which I could subscribe.

I did not ponder or hesitate

But left to go investigate.

And then the Christians told me,

Alas, that I was wrong:

That Christ was speaking to me,

And I should string along.

So I got dunked, and dipped and sprinkled,

Then went my merry way,

Convinced that since I’d found Him,

He would return some day.

All the billboards told me

It would happen any day,

And the preacher preached his message

That God was on His way –

That we’d better be good – and better be nice –

‘Cause He’s making a list and checking it twice.

And then a strange thing happened –

God really spoke to me,

And said that He had come again

If I had eyes to see.

It was so clear and simple –

A gift for all mankind:

To live in peace and brotherhood –

A truth that all must find.

So I ran to tell the Rabbi

The truth that I had found:

The Lord of Hosts had come

And we were homeward bound.

The Rabbi sadly shook his head

Said my mind was in a deep fog,

He said that God could only speak

On Saturdays – in his synagogue.

I quickly saw a Priest

And told him what I’d found and thought –

He crossed himself and told me

My God was a Communist plot,

And God would only speak to those who search

On Sundays in his sanctified church.

Everywhere I went

They sang the same old song:

That if God spoke of love and peace,

Certainly I’d heard wrong.

And everyone I spoke to

Seemed basically to agree

That truth is only truth

Within their monopoly.

And they alone could give man

All that he could possibly need

By adding two cups of water

To an instant religious creed.

And they would be glad to provide this

Most and day at noon,

Along with an awesome warning

That God is coming soon.